Not just slushies! 10 Tempting Teetotal Frozen Drinks: From a Strawberry Cup to a Miami Vice | Food

This weekend is bound to be deeply unpleasant for everyone in the UK. The heat will be scorching and unforgiving, and we will all be looking to cool down in any way we can. Room temperature drinks will no longer suffice. We have to get serious, and that means breaking out the frozen variety. However, store-bought slushies are often fluorescent, full of chemicals, and very unpleasant. Instead, let’s make our own. Here are 10 sophisticated and refreshing frozen non-alcoholic adult beverages to get you through the days ahead. May God have mercy on our souls.

A jug of strawberry cupA mug of strawberry cup. Photograph: Dan Matthews/The Guardian

strawberry cup

Four years ago, this newspaper rounded up six food writers and asked them for their favorite soft drinks. They’re all worth trying, but for the purposes of this list, I’ll focus on Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s Strawberry Shot. You can do it in seconds: he squeezes three oranges and a lemon and a half, and blends with three handfuls of strawberries and as many ice cubes as you can. The resulting drink is not only sweet but beautiful to look at. Imagine looking at this in a jar full of condensation. How could you not?

citrus granita

Many slushie recipes will require you to prepare the drink base before mixing it with ice. Rachel Gurjar’s Citrus Slushie, on the other hand, does something slightly inventive with the ingredients. The citrus components (oranges and lemons) are peeled, sliced, and then frozen. And this is what is mixed. True, you need a few ice cubes to add volume, but the resulting drink—sweetened with maple syrup but complicated with salt and cayenne pepper—is the exact opposite of a Tango Ice Blast.

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Add chili if necessary - a virgin margarita.Add chili if you must…a virgin margarita. Photography: Oksana Bratanova/Alamy

Frozen Virgin Jalapeno Margarita

While we’re talking complicated drinks, let’s bring up Savor the Flavor’s Frozen Virgin Jalapeno Margarita. Without tequila, this drink is very lime-heavy, with whole limes, lime juice, and lemonade, but the fun part is in the jalapeno peppers that are sliced ​​and scrambled at the last moment. Should you eat chili peppers on the hottest weekend of the year? Probably not? Want? Hey, that’s up to you. I’m not your dad.

frozen virgin mary

On the other hand, if you want to try something spicy and cold at the same time, Good Housekeeping’s frozen Virgin Mary might be perfect for you. Mix some ice cubes with vegetable juice (I’d go for tomato, as is traditional), horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, pepper, and hot sauce, and serve. Honestly, I’m too scared to try this, but surely one of you is brave enough to give it a try.

Sparkling watermelon granita

Watermelon granitas.Watermelon granitas. Photo: vasiliybudarin/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Until now, all of these drinks have required the addition of additional sugar. If that’s something you’d rather avoid, you should check out Fit As a Mama Bear’s Watermelon Slush Recipe. This couldn’t be easier. Slice a watermelon however you like, peel some strawberries, then blend with ice and top off with sparkling water. Sugarfree. No syrup. Easy.

dirty monkey without alcohol

Until now, all of these drinks have been fruit-based. If you’re craving dairy, here’s Somewhat Simple’s recipe for non-alcoholic dirty monkey. Banana, milk and chocolate syrup, blended with ice and topped with whipped cream. Congratulations on having a much more severe constitution than mine in a heat wave.

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virgin miami vice

If that’s not enough for you, try the virgin miami vice cocktail from The Spruce Eats. There is also milk, but also coconut cream, pineapple juice and strawberry puree. The addition of fruit makes it much more refreshing than its other ingredients would have you believe. Also—and I’m fully aware this will turn off many of you—the strawberry puree is poured in last, giving the drink a deeply Instagram-worthy two-tone look. I’m sorry.

Dear dairy... a landslide.Dear dairy… a landslide. Photo: bhofack2/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Virgin Mudslide

While we’re here, let’s take this concept to its logical conclusion with CKKitchen’s virgin slip. This sits right on the border between drink and dessert; think cream, cherries, syrup, shaved chocolate, with the frozen component in the form of ice cream. Drink it, eat it through a straw, it doesn’t matter. Honestly, whatever gets you through the weekend.

frozen blackberry smoothie

Since I’m nothing more than a traditionalist, let me remind you that the original frozen drink is a milkshake. BBC Good Food has a very fancy version that uses frozen blackberries (they’re in season now! Go out and fill a bucket!) along with stem ginger and pomegranate juice. If nothing else, it’ll make a nice refreshing breakfast when you wake up after another steamy sleepless night.

instant slushie

Finally, let me introduce you to the lowest effort slush ever created. It may not even technically qualify as a recipe, it’s really more of a technique, but here we are anyway. Nine years ago, Lifehacker published a post stating that a perfectly decent slush can be made by getting a bottle of any fizzy drink, shaking it as hard as you can, and then immediately placing it in the freezer. When it’s almost frozen (and timing is key here), scoop it out and pour it, and the drink instantly turns into a slushie before your very eyes.

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